Preface

Twenty years ago, I went through the first of four terrifying acute depressive episodes that took me to my knees and changed my life forever. That may sound very bleak, but it is not meant to. I believe all things happen for a reason and that in every situation, we are presented with choices. We can crumble from the weight of a drastic situation and forever live in the rubble of our life, or we can take what we've learned and rebuild. Sometimes we have to rebuild over and over again. But each time we rebuild, we come back stronger and wiser for it.


My first acute depression was the worse one in that I had no warning. I wasn't prepared for it, nor was my family. The symptoms were strange to me and it seemed to take forever for my doctor to rule out all the things it could be and arrive at the conclusion that I was clinically depressed. The diagnosis was like a bitter pill. I was caught up in the stigma like the majority of the world. That depression is a sign of weakness or belongs to someone who wallows in negativity. That didn't describe me at all. I was happy, active and an inspiration to those in my life, so why in heaven's name was I diagnosed with depression? And to make matters worse, all the medications that were prescribed to me were useless. I was 'medication-resistant,' therefore I sunk deeper and deeper until the depression almost took my life.

Then I was introduced to Electro-convulsive therapy (ECT) commonly known as shock treatment. If the stigma surrounding depression are harsh, the stigma surrounding ECT are ruthless. The mere name of the treatment conjured up horrible images in my mind and I couldn't image undergoing the treatment let alone letting anyone know I had even considered it. My road to recovery was riddled with obstacles.

I refused the treatment until I reached a point where there were no other options. Without giving ECT a try, I believe I would have landed up in some long care facility or possibly dead. Within a few treatments there was a noticeable difference in my outlook and mood and within a few months I was in recovery. Thankfully, for me, ECT was the 'silver bullet' that saved my life and pulled me back into the world of the living ' in my case, the world of the thriving. I couldn't believe a treatment with a seemingly bad reputation could be so effective. Over the next ten years, I relapsed into an acute episode three more times. But I was prepared. I knew what worked for me so I wasted no time in getting ECT treatments.

Between depressive episodes, I am a fully functioning individual who enjoys life to the fullest. I went back to school to get my masters degree, started my own corporate speaking and training company, and authored two books. I chose to live in recovery and I've made many life style changes that help me to maintain recovery for long periods of time.

About ten years ago, I felt the urge to share my story with the world. I wanted to help others like me, to become aware of depression and overcome the stigma, as well as accept the diagnosis and commit to recovery. I wanted to help their loved ones to understand them better and I wanted to help their health care providers to see life through their eyes. But most of all, I wanted to help those who are medication-resistant to consider a viable treatment (ECT) and to see past the myths and unsavory commentary. The media has portrayed ECT as a barbaric treatment; a treatment only given to 'crazy' people in the dark wards of psychiatric hospitals. This life-saving treatment is as far from that reality as it can be. Sadly, quick decisions based on rumors can cause people to shy away from possible breakthroughs - breakthroughs that could potentially save their lives. Too often, we discount a therapy that has a proven high success rate, because of stigma, yet we embrace unproven therapies that have been polished by public-relation experts. That, more than anything, was my motivating factor for writing this book. But it wasn't easy. I have attempted to write this book for ten solid years. There were times I thought it would never be completed. My journey was difficult, emotionally trying, as well as a strain on so many of my loved ones, that each time I put pen to paper, memories of the most upsetting moments would stop me and I began to wonder if the book would ever become a reality.

The time finally came. In 2010, I realized that as an established public speaker, I had the gift of persuasion and influence. There is so much negativity about ECT, that it has become my life purpose to speak to consumers (and their loved ones) who have exhausted other treatment options and have limited or no knowledge of ECT, or have discounted or rejected it because of stigma. It is a phenomenal treatment option that is sadly misunderstood and overlooked. It is not only safe, but used by smart, successful, happy people, not the stereotype we have been left with by misleading movies. My goal is to provide a lay person's perspective on a treatment option that turned my life around. In addition to changing the face of ECT, I also hope that my reader will gain hope through my journey of recovery and through the steps I took to achieve wellness. After ten years, and with the blessings of my wonderful children, this book is finally a reality. My children said, 'Mom, if your story can help even one individual achieve recovery, than you have to share it!'

This book is separated into two parts. Part one is the story of my first acute depressive episode from the time I originally encountered symptoms until shortly after my original exposure to ECT. Part two is advice I offer to consumers, their loved ones and their health care providers about understanding depression and ECT, and tips to get into and maintain recovery.

It is my heartfelt desire that you, my reader will be encouraged and enlightened through by my personal journey as well as the information I have gathered through those I connect with everyday (from other consumers and health care providers). I pray that if you are a consumer you will chose to rebuild your life, no matter how many times you get knocked down, and that you can celebrate a life in courageous recovery.